Dear Amy: I am 82 years old, in fairly good shape, independent, and retired from a nursing career.
My children are adults. My son and one of my daughters each have a dog.
I am the official dog-sitter, and it clouds my happiness.
I don’t want to be selfish, but I want peace in the years I have left.
I have been visiting one dog every day for the past six years while my daughter is at work. She is afraid the dog will be lonely!
I have also visited my son’s dog very often.
They both travel a lot for leisure and here I am, ready to watch the little critters.
My question is: how do I stop the run-up sitting and get my life back?
Please, help me!
– Helpless in Montana
Dear Helpless: Six years of daily visits? So the dog won’t be lonely?
Sigh.
I assume that at one point, many years ago, you agreed to this. Perhaps you even enjoyed your daily commitment for a while, or pretended that you did.
You are 82. One of the privileges of age is the right to live your life the way you want to, and to truthfully state your preferences.
Try a version of this: “I’m letting you know that I’m retiring at the end of the month. This should give you time to arrange for daycare for the dog.”
If you can plan a two-week vacation starting at that time, it would drive the message home.
You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.
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